They're the essential bits of Christmas. Squeezing a fir tree into your living room. Eating an odd-looking bird. Welcoming an intruder who breaks in by coming down the chimney. Gazing at your fifth mince pie of the day and finally wondering what on Earth might be in it.
How many of us stop to think how it all began? Dennis Ellam did... and today he explains where our festive traditions come from.
Father Christmas
Red robes, white beard, waist-slapping jollity and booming ho-ho-hos. He's been around for ever, hasn't he?
Well, actually only since 1935, when Haddon Sundblo, a Madison Avenue advertising man, created Santa Claus for a Coca-Cola campaign.
In previous lives he was thinner and paler, a character based on a 4th Century Asian bishop called Nicholas, who became the patron saint of children in most of Europe.
It was in Holland, where they called him Sinterklaas, that he earned his reputation for giving stuff away. A small pair of wooden shoes would be left by the fireplace and he would fill them with sweets. No question of trying to fit in a fashionable bodkin, let alone a Nintendo Wii.
Different countries still have their own variations on the theme, but that fat bloke in a red suit has pushed them all to the cultural margins.
What about Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer? Debt-ridden shopworker Robert Mays invented him in 1947 as the hero of a bestselling book that made him a fortune. The song, written by an adman and a professional composer, came two years later. Who says Christmas isn't magical?
Christmas crackers
The mastermind behind the Christmas cracker was a London sweetshop owner called Tom Smith. In 1847, after spotting French bonbons wrapped in paper with a twist at each end, he started selling similar sweets with a "love motto" inside.
They were so popular as a Christmas novelty that Tom made them bigger and included a trinket. But the real flash of inspiration came when he poked the fire and a log exploded with a sharp CRACK! That gave him the idea for a package that went off with a bang.
He launched his "Bangs of Expectation" with top-of-the range gifts such as jewellery, ivory carvings, perfume and miniature dolls. By 1900 he was selling 13 million a year.
But we can't blame Tom for the corny jokes and paper hats. They came later.
Mistletoe
Kissing under the mistletoe really took off a couple of centuries ago, but the plant's racy reputation dates back much further than that.
In 300BC, the ancient Druids cut sprigs of the climber from the trunks of oak trees with a golden knife. They believed it had sexual powers and, boiled with the blood of a pair of sacrificial white bulls, that there wasn't a finer aphrodisiac.
Its reputation lived on. By the 18th Century mistletoe balls, trimmed with ribbons, hung in the best hallways, where demure young ladies could stand waiting underneath, lips puckered.
The magic wears off, though. After each kiss, the gentleman should pull off a berry until there are none left, after which the rest of it should be ceremonially burned, otherwise it's 12 months of bad luck and celibacy.
Turkey
Goose was the popular choice for Christmas dinners for generations. Middle-class families with lots of relatives might go for a boar's head, while the seriously rich showed off with a swan.
The turkey didn't arrive until the 1600s, when merchants brought it back from America and marketed it as an exciting new festive taste - if you stuffed it with sage and onions and laced it with cranberries, that is. And ignored its natural dryness.
It really took off with the Victorians after Charles Dickens had Scrooge ordering a turkey in A Christmas Carol.
Nowadays a turkey isn't just for Christmas. It's for sandwiches well past Twelfth Night. Followed by curries if you're not careful.
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